Poem 5

The original

I ask for a moment’s indulgence to sit by thy side. The works that I have in hand I will finish afterwards.

Away from the sight of thy face my heart knows no rest nor respite, and my work becomes an endless toil in a shoreless sea of toil.

Today the summer has come at my window with its sighs and murmurs; and the bees are plying their minstrelsy at the court of the flowering grove.

Now it is time to sit quiet, face to face with thee, and to sing dedication of life in this silent and overflowing leisure.

The revised

I ask for a moment’s indulgence to sit by your side.
The works that I have in hand I will finish afterwards.
Away from the sight of your face,
my heart knows neither rest not respite
and my work becomes a shoreless sea of toil.

Today the summer has come at my window
with its sighs and murmurs,
and the bees are playing their minstrelsy
at the court of the flowering grove.

Now it is time to sit, quiet,
face to face with you, and to sing of life
in this silent and overflowing leisure.

The reasoning

This poem required little editing; besides the usual thee’s and thou’s, I found fault only with the words “to sing dedication of life,” and that was neatly mended by removing the unnecessary word “dedication.” With the line breaks as I have arranged, I am reminded of the look of a sonnet, which is appropriate given the appearance of music in the poem.